Minho asked... “A pause followed my greeting. “Ask me no questions, and I'll tell you no fibs.”. “People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.”. Wit helps us see the absurdity in the most serious situations, and is hence important in life everyday. With so much humor in the world, we’ve collected some hilarious life quotes from a wide range of funny quotes… Whether it’s to lighten up the mood at the office or to get a group of your friends on the floor laughing, a funny one-liner is always good to have on hand. These Short funny quotes & images will seriously make you laugh out loud! We hope you enjoy these quotes as much as we do, and if you do, be sure to check out our funny friendship quotes. Animals Love Quotes Top 100 The broccoli says 'I look like a small tree', the mushroom says 'I look like an umbrella', the walnut says 'I look like a brain', and the … Don’t waste time by searching because we already done this for you and here are the funniest witty status and short quotes to fulfill your need. -- … “Shouldn't someone give a pep talk or something?' And yes, he was right. Enjoy Life Quotes. “If an apology is followed by an excuse or a reason, it means they are going to commit same mistake again they just apologized for.”, “The problem with a life spent reading is you know too much.”, “Whenever I think of something but can't think of what it was I was thinking of, I can't stop thinking until I think I'm thinking of it again. Actually there are only less entries, but in the next weeks I will fill this solver with many clues. I think I think too much.”. “What the hell makes you smart?" Christmas is not a time nor a season, but a state of mind. If you don't laugh at jokes, you probably laugh at opinions.”, “Yes. If yes then you’re at the right place. “Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.”. A. Milne. It does. Often the best clever quotes are actually making fun of the person saying them, which shows that some very clever people enjoy making fun of themselves, instead of others. “Everyone has a sense of humor. M Mark Twain Mark Twain Words have the power to change the world. But to be perfectly fair to myself, I am ever-ready to confess my shortcomings, too, and a quick round of soul-searching forced me to admit that I had never been any good at all at breathing water. Think you need to add some humor to a dull day? Christmas is the season for kindling the fire of hospitality in the hall, the genial flame of charity in the heart. Top 40 Funny Witty Quotes #very funny quotes. 1 cita y dicho. Malcolm asked. The brave men rode them. 10. “The literal meaning of life is whatever you're doing that prevents you from killing yourself.”. Why, the only thing you wear twice is a sour expression.”, “When you are angry try your best to go to sleep, it keeps you away from speaking, writing and thinking while you are angry.”, “Talking to them was like being placed into conversational purgatory, with no hope of being released without significant damage to one's self-esteem.”, “Politeness is the first thing people lose once they get the power.”, Kingdom of Fear: Loathsome Secrets of a Star-Crossed Child in the Final Days of the American Century. Wit is man’s greatest treasure, someone said. – Calvin Coolidge. – A. You might also like these cheer quotes that will make your day better. – Abraham Lincoln. 1 5m ratings 277k ratings see that s what the app is perfect for. Age:32  Writer/Photographer/Fitness Coach. “Impossible is for the unwilling.” – John Keats. Short inspirational quotes about believing in yourself. Last updated: 03/5/15. 23. ~ Steven Wright~ I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly well. Best 100+ Sarcastic Quotes and Witty Funny Sayings. These short witty quotes are perfect for most occasions to break the ice or just spread a little laughter. For example, I am happy to admit that I am better than average at clever remarks, and I also have a flair for getting people to like me. They will tickle your funny bone and amuse you in their own way. A good amount of comedy reminds people that no matter how tough life gets, a few laughs can make things seem a little better. Please Log In or add your name and email to post the comment. “No pressure, no diamonds.” – Thomas Carlyle. Use them mindfully. Sounds perfect wahhhh i don t wanna. ~ Henry A. Kissinger~ Military justice is to justice what military music is to music. All texts are contributed by our excellent writers. “You've known him how long?" Does he even know that death exists?”, “Intelligence is more important than strength, that is why earth is ruled by men and not by animals.”, “And it's really very difficult to kill someone when all your inner instincts would oblige you to take off your hat first!”, “You noticed that I wore this outfit twice? 36 Great Funny Quotes Witty Quotes Witty Quotes Humor Short . Famous Clever Quotes Too many people spend money they haven’t earned, to buy things they don’t want, to impress people they don’t like. We do get compensation for Products listed on our site. I’m trying to live. Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you’re right. He has an excellent seat.". Repeat or copy these quotes out to your friends to make them laugh! The brave men did not kill dragons. “Well, don't expect us to be too impressed. #Doing nothing is hard, you never know when you’re done. Awesome Short Funny Quotes About Life to Make You Laugh “I don’t broadcast every high & I don’t hide every low. Powered by EnkiQuotes.com. by jamace(m): 2:10pm On Dec 11, 2010 "If you would hit the mark, you must aim a little above it; every arrow that files feels the attraction of earth." ~ Groucho Marx~ She was what we used to call a suicide blond - dyed by her own hand. See more ideas about witty quotes quotes words. No snowflake in an avalanche ever feels responsible ― Voltaire By Mary Brooke | May 9, 2020. 22. I asked. Short Witty Status and Quotes for Facebook, Whatsapp You may call this a big Warehouse of short witty status , best funny status and good status for your favorite social network. 0 Comment. “Believe you can … “Well, don't expect us to be too impressed. Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip around the sun. If you need a break from the seriousness of your day, reading over these short witty quotes is a great idea! Witty Quotes and Images. See more ideas about funny, bones funny, funny quotes. Jun 18, 2020 - Words of Wisdom and Wit! “Life is full of happiness and tears; be strong and have faith.” The 40 Most Witty Quotes Of All Time. Who doesn’t need a little bit of laughter in their lives? For all those people who are told to smile more. See more ideas about witty quotes, quotes, words. As I hung there from the seat belt, dazed and watching the water pour in and swirl around my head, this began to seem like a very large character flaw.”, “Nothing so fortifies a friendship as a belief on the part of one friend that he is superior to the other.”. Witty quotes tumblr short funny quotes. Sarcasm helps keep you from telling people what you really think of them. For all those people who are told to smile more. 24. These sayings are bound to make you laugh, think, and even ponder over certain things in life! John C. Maxwell: Act as if what you do makes a difference. True happiness is not something to search for, something that money can buy or something that is fixed. The sappy and sentimental quotes aren’t for everyone, and that’s okay. 12. Funny Quotes. ~ Mae West~ I intend to live forever. Funny Quotes 50 Funny Quotes And Sayings Short Funny Words Funny Quote Images Stock Photos Vectors Shutterstock #A balanced diet means a cupcake in each hand. You're solving a crossword and you need help with the clue A short witty poem? The cost of happiness increases with success. If you need a break from the seriousness of your day, reading over these short witty quotes is a great idea! William James: To live is the rarest thing in the world. 41+ of our best funny witty quotes. Henry Ford: Dreams don’t work unless you do. Reyn is our resident horse master. Sometimes we have to see the funny side of life in order to keep going. ", “So just let me deal with it, I can be emotionally flawed and still love you all at the same time. So far, so good. Short Funny Witty Quotes. You can’t wait to grow up, until you start getting old. A lot of people can probably relate to this one. Explore 158 Witty Quotes by authors including William Shakespeare, Voltaire, and George Meredith at BrainyQuote. Curated by: Tammy Lamoureux from lamourfoto.com. Dec 4, 2020 - Explore Linda Erb's board "Funny Signs and Sayings", followed by 289 people on Pinterest. To cherish peace and goodwill, to be plenteous in mercy, is to have the real spirit of Christmas. Top 40 Funny Witty Quotes #very funny. Some people like to live by humorous lines and end up inspiring others with their witty quips. Then “We’re watching you ” whispered the voice on the other end. “A person is wise if he listens to millions of advice and doesn't implement any of it.”, “One must have a heart of stone to read the death of little Nell without laughing.”, “-"He loved her...It was noble of him. Our collection of 28 Cool Funny Quotes & Witty Sayings #pun which are short, easy to remember but still hilarious. Who needs a stylist when you have a pillow? So brace yourself because this compilation of funny and humorous short sayings will definitely leave you asking for more! Sometimes we have to see the funny side of life in order to keep going. We just saw Finnick Odair in his underwear.”. You can’t wait to grow up, until you start getting old. Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a minute, but set him on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of … 25. • I'm not here to judge, I'm just pointing out all the mistakes you're making. This clue and much more will you find here. Laugh about a number of situations even when others aren’t being so kind. Here are 72 short and awesome quotes about true happiness: 1. • My silence spoke a thousand words, but you never heard them. You'd better stay away from these people. Looking for sarcastic quotes and sarcastic status for whatsapp and Facebook? Re: Short, Witty Quotes! ~ Saul Bellow~ I used to be Snow White, but I drifted. It was beautiful. Witty Quotes about Work “In life only one thing is certain, Friday will come.” “Sometimes the best part of my job is that the chair swivels.” “Early to bed and … Some people just seem to have a knack for spitting out funny insights. ~ Robert Benchley~ I never said most of t… I'm from Germany and made this site to improve my English. And I want to thank the Canadian people who came out to wave -- with all five fingers -- for their hospitality.”, “The guy's life drunk, I think, makes Candide look like a sourpuss. Sarcastic quotes witty ironic quotes funny girl quotes clever quotes sassy quotes super quotes sarcastic inspirational quotes annoying people quotes short funny quotes real sarcastic quotes sarcasm day is celebrated on june 14 across social media and october is the national sarcastic awareness month. The weekend is always meant for relaxing. I love a good witty quote. I’m not trying to convince the world I have a life.” Our collection of funny quotes which are short, easy to remember but still hilarious “All my life I tho […] 25 Witty Quotes That Will Make Everyone Smile. Quotes tagged as "witty" Showing 1-30 of 552. “A technicality I'm prepared to hide wildly behind.”, “This is the fast lane, folks...and some of us like it here.”, “I am not shy about admitting my modest talents. If you have any suggestions, you're welcome to contact me. Clever, witty quotes. Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes. Top 40 Funny Witty Quotes #witty quotations. Just a moment while we sign you in to your Goodreads account. Check out our short witty quotes selection for the very best in unique or custom, handmade pieces from our shops. I’m a great multitasker.”, “I wasn't used to guys making me blush, and I wasn't sure why he even was making me blush.”, “I frankly felt like the reception we received on the way in from the airport was very warm and hospitable. 11. ... Short Quotes; Thought for the day; Uncategorized; WOW; WTF; This is a Professional Website where we feature products. Welcome back. June 9, 2011 by Anne Austin Leave a Comment. Short Witty Quotes Quotations - 2 Quoes X. That’s called multi-tasking. top quotes Below we have the top quotes as they were voted on by the visitors of witty-quotes.com. • Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once. Moderation is a virtue only in those who are thought to have an alternative. Quotes For Your Wits. We just saw Finnick Odair in his underwear.”, “Ask me no questions, and I'll tell you no fibs.”, “The literal meaning of life is whatever you're doing that prevents you from killing yourself.”, “Everyone has a sense of humor. 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